20 Weeks / Important Life Lessons

Full disclosure - this post is a day late because of the long weekend. I forgot yesterday was not Monday and was, in fact, Tuesday.

Awhile ago, when I was googling any and every thing mom-related, I read an article written by a mother who resented being told that someday she would wish for what she was currently complaining about. 
Like, "oh, don't complain about having to carry your kid all the time. Someday they won't want you to pick them up and you'll wish you could have that time back."
And I got the author's point - let me complain! I'm tired! My back hurts! I haven't showered in almost a week! Just because you complain doesn't mean you don't cherish the moments with your kid, good and bad.

Then the point really hit home last week.
I was trying to get Evelyn used to napping in her crib during the day because someday we'll eventually transition her into it at night (she'd be fine, it's us who want to keep her beside us) and it would allow me some hands-free time during the day to just do whatever.
I tried a few days in a row with minimal success. She'd fall asleep nursing and then, when I felt pretty certain she was asleep I would gently lay her down in the crib...
and then the eyes would fly open.
I tried giving her 5 minutes to settle herself but it either ended with her crying or happily looking around at all the toys in her room. 
There was no sleep to be had in the crib.
And not-so-great day naps translated to fussy evenings.

So eventually I gave up, somewhat frustrated, and let her nap on my chest again because at least it guaranteed a longer, more restful nap. 

And while I was complaining about having less time to prep dinner, etc, I realized I can't really complain about these moments that are no doubt fleeting. As long as she sleeps better nestled on me then we'll cuddle chest-to-chest. 
She won't always want to cuddle. Someday she'll be too big and too grown up to want to.
And truthfully, there is nothing more I love than having her fast asleep on my chest. I get to kiss her head, watch her sweet face, feel her breathe, and feel my heart swell with more love than I ever, ever thought possible. 

So just know that I DO cherish every moment and I know that some day, probably sooner than I realize, she'll be grown up and independent and won't need me.

I cherish every single second.
But sometimes I also want some me time. 
If I complain, just let me. 
I only half mean it.