Tuesday, May 26, 2015

21 Weeks / Too Busy to Sleep

Oh my monkey.
You're rolling both ways now - back to front and front to back. But only to the right. When I put you in your crib now it usually results in you smushed up in one of the corners. Time to get some crib bumpers me thinks.
You're getting better at sitting up on your own too. But not really. You like sitting up with us but if we let go to see how you fare you happily face plant into the couch/bed/other soft surface. You'll get there soon enough though.
You like having people hold you so you can walk your feet through the grass. 
You like sleeping on your tummy with your bum in the air. 
During the day you don't like napping anywhere but on your mommy and daddy. 
(As I type that sentence you FINALLY just fell asleep on the couch beside me, as captured in the photo below ... but you keep waking up to watch Kelly & Michael it seems. I know if I put you in the crib you'll be wide awake. You're a funny one)
You're discovering more and more every day. You enjoy your exersaucer even more now that I finally put batteries into it and it makes crazy jungle sounds. 
You're starting to bounce and move side to side in it now too.
You're also very interested in anything your dad and I eat/drink. I bought you a sippy cup because you're not a fan of the traditional bottle. So far you just chew on it but I'm optimistic that one day you'll drink from it.
I also bought you rice cereal because of how interested in food you seem. I was going to wait until 6 months but we're going to try a little bit next week after your 5 month-a-versary. 
 I'm excited for you to try new things but not excited for the reality of constipation (your poor little GI tract is going to have to learn how to process more than just breast milk) and 'human poos' that I've been told smell like ... well, poo. Different from the non-offensive milk poops you have now, anyway. 
Are you reading this in the future? Are you embarrassed that I'm talking about your poos? Don't be. Everybody poos. 

We love you so much and feel so lucky we get to watch you grow each and every day.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

20 Weeks / Important Life Lessons

Full disclosure - this post is a day late because of the long weekend. I forgot yesterday was not Monday and was, in fact, Tuesday.

Awhile ago, when I was googling any and every thing mom-related, I read an article written by a mother who resented being told that someday she would wish for what she was currently complaining about. 
Like, "oh, don't complain about having to carry your kid all the time. Someday they won't want you to pick them up and you'll wish you could have that time back."
And I got the author's point - let me complain! I'm tired! My back hurts! I haven't showered in almost a week! Just because you complain doesn't mean you don't cherish the moments with your kid, good and bad.

Then the point really hit home last week.
I was trying to get Evelyn used to napping in her crib during the day because someday we'll eventually transition her into it at night (she'd be fine, it's us who want to keep her beside us) and it would allow me some hands-free time during the day to just do whatever.
I tried a few days in a row with minimal success. She'd fall asleep nursing and then, when I felt pretty certain she was asleep I would gently lay her down in the crib...
and then the eyes would fly open.
I tried giving her 5 minutes to settle herself but it either ended with her crying or happily looking around at all the toys in her room. 
There was no sleep to be had in the crib.
And not-so-great day naps translated to fussy evenings.

So eventually I gave up, somewhat frustrated, and let her nap on my chest again because at least it guaranteed a longer, more restful nap. 

And while I was complaining about having less time to prep dinner, etc, I realized I can't really complain about these moments that are no doubt fleeting. As long as she sleeps better nestled on me then we'll cuddle chest-to-chest. 
She won't always want to cuddle. Someday she'll be too big and too grown up to want to.
And truthfully, there is nothing more I love than having her fast asleep on my chest. I get to kiss her head, watch her sweet face, feel her breathe, and feel my heart swell with more love than I ever, ever thought possible. 

So just know that I DO cherish every moment and I know that some day, probably sooner than I realize, she'll be grown up and independent and won't need me.

I cherish every single second.
But sometimes I also want some me time. 
If I complain, just let me. 
I only half mean it. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

19 Weeks / Mother's Day

My first ever Mother's Day was wonderful. 
Last year I was pregnant with Evelyn and we celebrated a sort of Mother-to-be Day but there is  nothing quite like being a mother. 

Though I don't have as much insight as mom's who have been around the block with more than one kid, here's what I've learned in 4 short months about motherhood. 

Being a mother means loving someone so much that there aren't words to describe it.

Being a mother means knowing someone intimately while knowing nothing about them at all, seeing more of who they will become every day.

Being a mother means some days you don't get time to take a shower or have the energy to change into clothes.

Being a mother means feeling frustrated and heavy-armed when your child wants to be held all day but then deeply missing the weight of them when someone gives you a break. 

Being a mother means trying unsuccessfully to convince your child to nap independently but not really minding when you realize they just want to sleep snuggled against you. The dishes and dinner can wait.

Being a mother means coming up with ridiculous songs to make your baby smile.

Being a mother means saying no to invitations to go out because your baby gets tired and fussy at 8 pm and needs to go to sleep.

Being a mother means falling asleep earlier most nights than you have in years because you wake up throughout the night to nurse your baby, to listen to her gently breathing, or just to look at her.

Being a mother means tough days that make you want to cry.

Being a mother means folding tiny laundry and wondering how your baby has already grown out of her clothing.

Being a mother means watching your child discover and learn things while your heart bursts with pride.

Being a mother means looking at your baby and seeing features that look like you and your partner.

Being a mother means secretly being proud when your own mother says, "she reminds me so much of you as a baby - didn't want to nap and miss anything."

Being a mother means loving your partner in a completely new way, watching them love their daughter and knowing that together you made such a perfect, beautiful little creature.

Being a mother means appreciating all of the sacrifices your own mother made and understanding the depth of her love for you, and loving her in a completely new way too.

But mostly, to me, being a mother means loving your baby with every inch of your being, even when they make you crazy, and realizing that you would do anything, give anything, to give your child a happy, healthy life. 

Happy (belated) Mother's Day to every mother out there - biological moms, step-moms, foster moms, adoptive moms, aunts who love their nieces and nephews like moms, grandmoms, etc.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

18 Weeks / My squealing piglet

This post is a day late because *someone* didn't want to go down for a decent nap yesterday...
which left me with not a lot of time to try and do the things I wanted to do.
Like write this blog post.

But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. 
I like that I no longer spend my days trolling the internet for gossip, funnies, and social media updates. I mean, I obviously do it when the bug is asleep but that's not the point here. 
I spend my day trying to make my daughter laugh and making sure she's stimulated and that her tummy is full and her bum is dry. 
I also spend part of each day trying to lull her into a nap in her crib so I can have at least a fraction of hands free time. 
This week has already felt long (it's only Wednesday...) but I think that's a combination of inconsistent naps plus the following new developments:

1. Baby Ev has learned how to squeal. Loud. In my ears. Often also while pinching my arms/neck/whatever skin she can get her tiny little hands on. She squeals when she's happy and when she's ready to be picked up out of her exersaucer and when she sees the cat and.... pretty much at all times.

2. Baby Ev is going through the 4 month sleep regression. Admittedly her night time sleep schedule has started to get better again (a good 4 or 5 hour chunk followed by 3 hour blocks) and she has consistently gone to bed around 9 pm for almost the last week. This has meant more mommy-daddy time to enjoy a glass of wine on the couch sans baby before we start falling asleep on said couch, usually by 9:30. The sleep regression has left us with a fussy baby who cries almost inconsolably for 30-60 mins every night around 8 pm until she falls asleep. It is frustrating and heartbreaking as there doesn't seem to be anything we can do for her. I gave her tylenol one night when it was bad in case she was hurting. Thankfully it hasn't been that bad again since. Bad, but not that bad.

3. Baby Ev sings us awake from her bassinet at 3 am and then wakes up ay 6:30 every morning. While I enjoy spending the time with John before he leaves for work, I'm really starting to miss my bed. This explains why we've been falling asleep by 9:30 and also why the days feel longer. They start earlier. 

Thankfully she's cute and entertaining and generally happy. 
Here's hoping the rest of the week flies by so we can enjoy a nice weekend with Daddy (and he can have HIS ears squealed off instead).

If you're on Instagram and want to see daily cute pictures of my little bug follow us @NineTenEvelyn :)