Tuesday, March 31, 2015

13 Weeks / You Are Amazing

You officially turned 3 months old yesterday. March went by quickly!
In the last week I feel as though you've grown up even more. You're so full of smiles and laughs. You are discovering what your hands do. One night when you were a bit fussy we went for a walk around the house and you wanted to look at the thermostat. Then you reached out to touch it.
So now I make sure we have toys dangling above you or within your reach so you can keep discovering. You like hitting the dangling toys and making them move. 

You are still a little drool faucet at times.
And on Saturday you almost rolled right over from your back to your front! Once you have a bit more head & neck strength you'll be rolling like crazy!

I love watching you grow and develop and become more aware of yourself and your surroundings.
You are amazing.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

12 Weeks / How You've Grown

This little goose is 12 weeks old.

I didn't post last week cause our power was out for most of the day, which meant no internet and lots of reading and playtime instead.

In the past 2 weeks my little baby has discovered she can squeal and she likes it. She's drooly as can be and likes eating her hands. We also get the occasional giggle. 

She's also mastered the art of rolling onto her side so I imagine she'll make it all the way over onto her tummy in no time.

Then it's out of the bassinet and likely into the crib since there isn't really room to roll around in there.

I'll miss her sleeping beside me and may find myself camping out on the floor by her crib when the time comes.

She's growing longer and heavier. She's almost out of her 0-3 sleepers and fitting into the 3-6 month clothing.

Though it doesn't seem possible, everyday we love her more.

Kiddo, you are the best thing to happen to us.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

10 Weeks / The Most Important Message

A good friend recently had a daughter of her own and it got me reminiscing about the day my little bug was born and how wonderful life is now she's in the world (Thanks Elton John for the sentiment).

But the first few weeks were not all rainbows and sunshine. I cried almost every day over various things. I cried the first time I looked in the mirror at my no-longer-pregnant body. I was going to miss those kicks and wiggles that were only for me. I cried because I wondered if life had just changed for the worse. I cried because I dreaded the nighttime when it was dark and quiet and I was awake trying to keep my baby content. I cried because I felt like I was already failing my child because my milk took 5 days to come in and she was hungry.  

Then one night, laying on the couch in the dark living room at 3 am, watching a Kardashian marathon, a friend sent me a message asking how motherhood was going. She confessed that she, too, found it difficult to adjust to life with a newborn. She told me that it was normal to cry. And she told me the most important message we need to remember: 

You're doing a great job.

So I passed this message onto my friend because she too is now adjusting to a new way of life that will always have those days that feel long and difficult, and she needed to know. 

And we as parents need to pass that message along to others who are recovering from labour, who are exhausted, who are completely overwhelmed. The parents feeling alone at 3 am, as if they're the only person in the world awake with a hungry, crying baby. The parents feeling like there's no way they can raise a child. The parents who feel completely and utterly in over their heads.

Thank you to the mom's who have reminded me of this important message when I felt like I was failing.

Pass it on. 

We're doing a great job.

P.S. if you find yourself wondering if you're suffering with post-partum depression please also know that there is another important message: There is NO shame in asking for help. The strongest parents are the ones who take care of themselves too. 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

9 Weeks Old / The Post-Baby Body

Little bug you are 9 weeks old! Look at how much you've grown in a month! You're 11 lbs now and still growing. Look at those skinny little arms and legs at one month. You're filling out and starting to look different. Some days I see a bit of myself in your face but you definitely look more like your dad.

You do seem to have inherited my spine, however. I joke I have a stego-spine because to me it sticks out like stegosaurus plates especially when I bend over. We can feel yours (don't worry, not in a worrisome way) and your dad joked that now we know you're mine.

Speaking of body parts, I thought I'd use this week's post to talk about some of the changes my body has gone through on the wonderful journey into motherhood.

For example, My hands and feet got swollen towards the end of our 41 weeks together to the point where I had to take off my wedding & engagement rings lest they grow into my skin. Most of my shoes were a tight squeeze if I could even get my feet into them. It's only been in the last 2 or 3 weeks that my rings fit the way they use to again.
But it's a reminder that there is a natural ebb and flow to life, even with the fluids in your body.
Just because your shoes don't fit doesn't mean they won't ever fit again. And if they never do, you get yourself some new, even better shoes.
I think that could be a metaphor for how to look at life.

I developed a pretty serious linea nigra that I doubt will ever fade.
And my stomach, which I always complained about but was once flat and had mild muscle definition, is now loose and undefined.
But it's a reminder that my skin and muscles stretched to make a home for you.
I'm proud of that.

My breasts grew. And just when I was getting used to the new size, my milk came in and they grew even bigger. And now when you sleep for longer periods overnight I wake up with what a friend called "porn star boobs". Holy heck the engorgement! Sometimes you're not even fully awake and I'll pull you out of the bassinet to nurse for my own relief!
The first few weeks of breastfeeding were painful and I bled one or twice while pumping. Then late last week I believe I had a blocked milk duct which made it hurt all over again.
But I love being able to breastfeed. There is something so empowering about knowing that my body is capable of providing you with all you need to survive right now.
I'm proud of that.

(Please know that if you are unable to breastfeed or choose not to for whatever reason, you're still giving your child all that they need to survive! Be proud of that)

 My body is bigger, looser, saggier, and different than this time last year.
Though there are days I long for that pre-baby body back, I know that with a bit of hard work I'll see it again.
And I'm proud of what this bigger looser, saggier, and beautiful body gave me.

It gave me you.

Now back to the squats and lunges with my 11 lb weight (that's you).
My body gave me you and you're going to help give me a tight tush for the summer.